crying it out

cry it out is an interesting thing.

crying it out is the method in which a parent leaves their baby in their bed to cry for a specific period of time, before offering comfort- without picking them up.  the reason for implementing this method of sleep training is to help train your baby to fall asleep on his or her own without using "crutch" ie: rocking, patting.


you can start with cio as early as 4 months- dave and i didn't know this in the beginning, so we tried it the first couple weeks until we found out we needed to wait- oh, i felt terrible.  now we are at 4 months, and we have just started implementing it again.  we didn't really need it at first- but with the turmoil of the current wonder week- it has been a necessity.


why do i think cio is a good idea?  it's a good idea because i feel you need to teach your baby to self-soothe.  i just don't think it's a good idea to go and pick your baby up every time they cry- why?  i mean, sure, you have the ability to say, "my baby is so good, he/she never cries" but of course they won't when you are picking them up every time they cry.  giving into them will only make things harder when they are older- because babies are smart!  if i leave ian in the room and he is cooing and content he starts to cry the second the door closes, but the second my hand touches the knob to come back in, a hush falls over the room.  he knows.

it's also the toughest thing in the world.  it's the toughest thing in the world because nobody wants to hear their baby cry- it just tears you up- you want to go and run in and rescue them- hold them and rock them to sleep, but you've got to be strong!  i like to do necessary daily tasks during that time to keep me occupied- ie: eat breakfast or lunch, take a quick shower (all within earshot or view of my baby monitor).

crying it out has really started working for us.  5 minutes is usually my first check in.  after i put ian down for a nap or bedtime, i give him 5 minutes- if he's still fussing i go in and assess the situation:  is he wet?  has he spit up?  is he gassy?  has he lost the pacifier?  is it too hot/cold?  has he pulled mr. bear over his face?  i check into these things, flip him back over (he's been flipping to his tummy to sleep lately, and i find it easier to get him to sleep if i "start him over again" on his back).  i talk to him and reassure him, re-wind his lamb or mobile, give him a few pats and i'm out again.  this time i extend the time from 7-10 minutes.  lately, i  haven't needed to do this, and sometimes lately i haven't even needed the first check.

there have been other times though that after all the check-ins; the crying just won't stop.  and those times have ended baby in my arms both of us fast asleep in my bed.  and that's ok too.  sometimes baby just needs mama, and mama just needs baby.

what are your methods in getting baby to sleep with ease or to self-soothe?

week 17/18

so this is about ian's 17th week (may 12-18) and the terror we experienced so far in week 18 (19th-21st) (actually, as i am coming back to finish this post it's already may 25th).  i think at this point i will just make my weekly updates monthly updates unless there is any real news to report!

week 17 was awesome.  ian really got into talking this week.  and i mean really.  he makes the sweetest noises ever- lots of sighs and coos- i obviously can't put them into words.  and of course, he's so sporadic with it, it would be impossible to catch it on film.  he also does this really funny heavy-breathing-type talk (dave and i call it ian's version of "whispering"), so we usually say he's telling secrets when that begins.  we took ian on a trip to milwaukee as well- he did really well, per usual.  it was nice to have a day away from everything here!

monday was a day i dreaded- more vaccinations!  ian had 3 more shots at his 4 month check up.  he also weighed in at 12 lbs 8 oz (down to the 10-25th%) and is up to 25" (down to just the 50th%).  the shots went the same as last time.  silence followed by gut-wrenching screams!  i cried, again.  the rest of that day went pretty well, but the aftermath has left thousands me lying in its wake.  tuesday:  fussy, but manageable.  wednesday: fussier, but manageable.  thursday:  on the verge of a mental breakdown.  friday:  still crazy, but i'm in control.

sidebar:  first of all, i love this blog.  i know every baby is different, but they still develop for the most part on similar schedules.  she has a week by week summary of her daughter's life in relation to the babywise methods.  i will usually compare these with ian's progress, and they're pretty spot-on as far as "typical" baby behavior goes.  friday morning while ian is laying on his play mat screaming at 6:30 am, i decide to check out the weekly updates (i hadn't done this the last 2 weeks).  it's here that i learn about the wonder weeks.  i have been secretly wanting this book for a while because i want to see what it's all about, but it's almost $25- which is ridiculous.  so i decide i'll check out the local library, and sure enough they have it!  so friday turns into miracle day.  since i had been up since 6 am, i feed ian and get him straight back down for his nap.  i follow this up with breakfast, shower, dressed, bed made, diaper bag packed and everything ready to go- all before ian's next feeding.  we head to the library to check the book out and this thing is SPOT ON with ian's recent behavior.  thank you jesus!

but let's forget the low light.  here are the highlights!

ian rolled over- belly to back on wednesday, and back to belly on thursday.  according to ww- learning a new skill is what  brings baby into crankiness.  their entire world changes- therefore cranky.

we have started rice cereal with ian.  nothing fancy- i'm just putting it into a bottle.  i'm not ready to start spoon feeding, and i'm trying to stick as closely to ebf as i can.  his last bottle of the day is breast milk and cereal- daddy gets to get involved by feeding him, and mommy gets a little break.

we received our crib recall kit.  this was awesome b\c since ian started rolling over, he could no longer sleep in the amby.  so husband fixed the crib, and it was ready to become ian's new sleeping place!  he's been sleeping in his crib for  naps and nighttime sleep.  he's doing pretty awesome!

we started cloth diapering!!  more on this later

thanks to my friend, lyn, i have ian on a more manageable babywise schedule.  it's working out for all parties involved.  5 feedings a day and 3 naps.  thank goodness for other friends who have been there before!

we celebrated family birthday time this weekend (me, dave, april, shannon (2 of dave's 3 sisters) and father's day).  our niece annabella is growing like a weed- and much to our delight and dismay- we're going to be an aunt and uncle again!!!!!!!!  shannon is pregnant and due november 29 (btw, annie was due november 27 and born november 17- so depending on how things go- these girls could be less than a year apart)!!  we're so excited that it's not us!!!!  i think poor shannon is terrified.  annie has been a handful!

my mom dad and brother will be here thursday!!!  we're having a baby dedication for ian on sunday. 

lots of excitement in our household!

the ability to roll over brings with it a new sleeping position!

a night i dreaded

was the night i'd come home from work and ian would already be in bed for the night, and fast asleep.  and i cried knowing i couldn't hold my little pickle until morning.

the first of many.  :(

here's hoping for the day i'll be able to be home for all bedtimes.

because you had a bad day

today was a horrible day. i really struggled with ian today. during 45 minutes of screaming and fighting a nap, i lost it. i completely broke down. there's crying, and then there's crying, and i was crying. i hadn't cried like that since my dad told me my grandfather died. it was actually less crying and more howling. it was awful. i finally broke down and called my mother at work, it was that bad. thank the Lord for mom's- she certainly made it better. i was miserable though- what was i doing so wrong to cause ian to just wail and wail. he's so tired, why won't he nap? again, i felt like the worst mom in the world. this story ended with a wet-haired mom in a bathrobe holding her baby in her arms on her bed, and both of them sleeping for 2 hours +. i guess we needed it.

week 13

here are the events from week 12-13 in ian's life (april 14-21).

this week has pretty much been a lot of the same from last week. still working on new introductions into ian's life. we're still working with getting him to sleep in the crib- he's taking pretty much every nap in the crib now! we'll be in there full time before we know it! this is pretty darn sad- he won't be right next to me anymore- also, when he fusses for his pacifier at 5 AM, we now have to leave the room!

ian is still doing well with tummy time- sometimes he's interesting in pushing himself up, and sometimes he just likes to do nothing! he also looks like he's trying to roll himself over sometimes- but i still think it's going to be little longer.

we're also still using the bumbo- not too much progress yet.

friday, ian and i took a trip to old navy for stuff and save. we were with the first 50 in line- so we got 50% off! i got some really cute stuff for ian (and for me too, duh) to wear later this summer- i can't wait! old navy definitely doesn't have the greatest stuff, but for 50% off, i think i can make it work! plus, if it tears up after a few washes, i'm not out a lot of cash!

saturday, we went to chuck's house for dave to start beer making. i got him a beer making kit for valentine's day 2008, and he finally got around to using it! ian wasn't too interested in the beer making process, he just wanted to sleep and eat!

ian has been pretty fussy this week, so i've been very frustrated. it seems everything i do causes him to cry- putting him in his crib, his swing, the car seat, etc. and now instead of sleeping in the car seat, he prefers to just cry for an entire 30 minute trip, and then as soon as we get to where we're going stop. i think he just wants me to look like a fool... oh, i hope this is a phase.

we went to the pediatrician on monday. ian is 11 lbs, 8 oz and 24". still in the 25th% for weight, but she didn't tell me about height. we got a rx for a stronger ointment for ian's eczema- everything he touched was breaking him out this week. after laying on the wax paper in the office his entire back broke out! the pediatrician didn't seem worried, which made me a little frustrated, but i'm starting to learn that this seems to be what doctors do... the doctor says we will start cereal next month, but i've heard a lot of conflicting views. my lactation consultant says i should wait because of the eczema... oh, what to do!?

i will again have to post pictures later because husband's computer has all our photos on it, and it refuses to connect to the internet...

week 7

here are the events from week 6-7

this week started out really really rough... but this didn't last very long. on wednesday, march 3, ian turned 6 weeks old. we were supposed to start infant massage that day, but husband didn't wake us and we overslept. i went to my post partum appointment and then strolled around the mall with ian. there we ran into a girl from massage class who told us the class had been bumped back, and we could've made it on time. grr.

the next day was worse, but was leading up to something amazing... we go to breastfeeding support group on thursdays. while trying to get myself ready ian was screaming his head off, and i couldn't shower or do anything anything with myself. i was at my breaking point. i literally sat on the couch for 30 minutes holding ian and crying. i finally got myself up and drove to support group- there were at least 4 new faces, but it didn't take me long- i totally broke down about all my frustrations of the day: being late, my house is a mess, i can't even shower, etc. everyone rallied around me though and i felt a million times better. then, that night, something magic happened:

ian slept through the night!!!!! so what began in frustration renewed itself in total reward. thank you babywise! also, i know that all my hard work paid off!

other highlights from this week include:

ian has started to grow out of some of his newborn clothes. a few pj's and onesies are no longer fitting, and we have started a bin of "baby clothes." bittersweet. he fits well in his other newborn clothes, and his 0-3 month onesies, but still isn't fitting into 0-3 month pants!

a major blowout. as in, we just had to throw that onesie away...

ian is also eating very well. 6 feedings a day averaging about 30-40 minutes total.

naps are going much better, but i still don't feel like i have it down. i just can't pinpoint what i'm doing wrong.

we also got a bouncer seat this week. ian seems to like it, but the vibrations sometimes give him the hiccups. we also bought some clothes from the same people we got the bouncer from. they're from michigan just like dave, and they had some baby michigan state and detroit red wings gear. needless to say daddy was very happy!

we were terrible with picture taking this week- these are the only photos from the week.

snoozing on daddy

snoozing on mommy

more snoozing on mommy


snoozing in my amby

ok, i know he slept through the night an all, but i promise he didn't sleep all week...

this week has been another exciting one so far, and we're half way through it! look for the next weekly update sometime after wednesday!

Letters to my son

dearest ian:

i promise if you would just take a nap you would feel better and there would be no reason to cry. believe me.

love always,

mommy

ps. it would help tremendously with my abilities to cook dinner.

things i've learned about motherhood #109

you will cry almost as much as your baby does. don't worry, it just means you're still human, and you're still sane

sticks and stones

i wish that old saying was true in my life- but it isn't. I don't have nerves of steel. I can't just ignore what people say, or don't say. i can't just let someone be so rude to me, and just pretend it never happened. it hurts me. it's ridiculous, but every stranger who is rude to me, hurts me. you don't know me, i never did anything to you, and you have no right to act this way to me. i'm pregnant which = horomonal and emotional. i don't need to come home from work and cry in my car for 20 minutes b\c some moron that I'm never going to see again yelled at me for something I didn't even do, or refused to even acknowledge my existence as a human being.

how about a little human kindess?