isla's birth story. part 3

part 1

part 2

may is preeclampsia awareness month, and hopefully i am going to get back into the habit of being a good blogger by overloading you with lots of information!  i wanted to start by finishing isla's birth story, which is also basically our preeclampsia story. 

so where i left off was either sunday or monday... i honestly don't remember.  i know monday i was woken up the same way i was on sunday (and to follow until thursday) with a 6 am blood draw.  it was pretty much the same as my last few days- new nurses, constant blood pressure checks and contractions! 

i went back and checked and i did NOT have my epidural on sunday.  early monday (after midnight) is when pitocin was started and i was still only dilated to a 1.  my blood pressure was up and down and my energy was zapped.  by that morning, i was starving and just exhausted.  they allowed me to have the liquid diet tray to get some nutrients in me, but sitting up to eat that pretty much killed any little spurt of energy i had.  i was even more swollen from the fluids and  my lung capacity was diminishing.  my biggest concern was that i wasn't going to have the energy to deliver the baby and that i was going to need a c-section, which was the last thing i wanted. 

sometime around lunch the ob came to check me again.  i was only a 1.5.  during the check i felt a weird gush... water breaking.  the ob claims that she accidentally broke it... whether or not it was an accident, i guess i'll never know.  when that was happening, the nurse in the room had her hands on my belly and felt baby drop- so we were headed in the right direction.  i had been thinking about it, and around 1-1:30 i decided i was going to have an epidural.  i was just feeling crappy, and i figured if there was at least one thing that might make me feel better, i might as well have that.  the epidural totally changed everything.  it was more painful than the one i had with ian (which i later figured out was because with ian i had received iv drugs), but after it was done, i felt awake.  dave even said my face changed!  however, like with most pain meds, i was having a reaction and needed benedryl to counter that, which wasn't helping.  by 2:30 i was a 3, and by 3 i was a 4.  when my nurse checked me, she told me she had a meeting to go to, but would be back in a bit.  she said i was progressing around a centimeter per hour and at that rate we would have a baby by dinner time.  dave sent a text to our family and at that point i decided i was going to rest some- i had been chatting with friends on fb and i put my laptop away and tried to rest. 

i don't know how long i had been laying there (maybe 10-15 minutes) but i remembered being super uncomfortable.  like feeling really bad.  i looked over at my screen that was monitoring contractions and i could tell i was having them.  i just breathed through how bad i was feeling and i kept quiet.  around this time dave told me he was going to go into the bathroom and he joked "don't have the baby while i'm in there."  while he was in there, i had another painful contraction and decided something wasn't right, so i paged the nurses station.  when they answered i just told them that i was in a lot of pain and to come quick!  when the nurse came in, it wasn't my regular nurse and i was explaining to her that i was feeling a lot of pain, and she was telling me, "oh, you can just push this button here if you need more from your epidural."  well, during that time i had another contraction, and i told her, "no, i don't think that's it, i mean, i feel like i might need to push.  she came over and checked me and said, "oh, i can see her head!!"  everything went kind of crazy after that as there were people all over my room- 3 or 4 nurses for me, plus nurses and doctors for isla.  i remember a really tiny nurse jumping and trying to pull the lights down from the ceiling and my nurse rushing in and telling me, "i wasn't even gone for 20 minutes and you tried to have a baby without me."  and then, of course, my doctor comes in and she was furious... "why didn't anyone call me?!"  and a nurse replies, "she was a 4 just 15 minutes ago."  and poor dave when he came out of the bathroom, the look on his face just said "really?!"  it was chaotic, and they didn't have time to get everything in place, but i was ready to push.  she needed some vacuum assistance, and i screamed at my doctor, "i AM pushing" when she told me i would have to work harder or i would have to have a csection (which seems to be all the motivation i ever need).  i think i pushed maybe 5 times?  isla arrived in about 20 minutes i think, and they let me hold her right away for just a quick minute before the team whisked her over to the warmer and checked all her signs, weight etc.  she was wrapped up and given back to me for a few short photos and then whisked off to the nicu while i finished delivery.  the room was straightened up and dave and i were left a little confused and alone.  not long after that, the lc came in so i could start pumping because i was going to be unable to feed.  not too long after that the milk was collected and taken to the nicu and i was moved into another room. we had done it though!  our sweet little girl had finally arrived. 

the rest of my hospital stay is a whole 'nother entry.  maybe one day... 

isla olive mcfadden.  june 17, 2013.  3:48 pm.  4 lbs.  3 oz.  18 inches. 

if you don't like pictures of babies being born... now's the time to leave...

 poor misshapen head baby!

Isla's Birthday Story. Part 2.

part 1.

my memory is very fuzzy, at best.  so i will hopefully remember everything. 

dave had just dropped me off at the er and had gone home to drop ian off with our friend nickie (who, bless her heart, was also very pregnant), and pack up some things for us.  a nurse had gotten me from the er and taken me to triage in l&d.  i was given my bracelets- name and allergy- which they put on very loosely for me, thank goodness.  when i got into triage, my bp was taken again and the top number was in the 190s.  i was immediately started on an iv of magnesium sulfate to prevent seizures and given my first exam so they could try and figure out where baby was.  the nurse couldn't "find any presenting parts", so they had to call someone in to do a quick ultrasound to find out whether or not she was head down.  luckily, she was.  i sat in the room alone in triage for a while and i remember the tv not working and a guy came in to try and fix it for me, but nothing happened.  so i just remember waiting alone and bored for dave.  my phone had died while we were at dinner and i was all alone.  dave finally showed up and i was moved into an actual l&d room because they were going to start the induction at midnight.  so at midnight on june 16, 2013, it was father's day, i turned 32 and my labor began.  since i wasn't dilated any more than a 1, i had to be given cervadil to soften up my cervix before the real stuff would begin.  that was pretty much the worst thing ever.  i pretty much had to be pinned down to be given the dose- it was awful.  i was induced (by choice) with Ian, and after having him and learning more about pregnancy and delivery I had decided that i absolutely did not want to be induced again- i wanted to go into labor on my own and have this baby on my own.  that was the first of many things that just didn't work out for this delivery- but then again- nothing was going the way i had planned.  sometime after the cervadil i was given a catheter b\c my urine output had to be monitored b\c of the preeclamsia.  that pretty much ties cervadil for the worst thing ever.  i had blood taken, which started 5 straight days of having blood taken 2x a day from the same place in my arm (also awful).  i am pretty sure we were able to sleep a little bit after this- the magnesium sulfate made me pretty drowsy, so it's hard to really know. 

my parents arrived sunday afternoon.  that day my friend kristen also came and gave my disgusting feet a pedicure.  i remember her making jokes about how gross my feet were before i passed out.  i also had my 2nd dose of cervadil at noon.  during all of this, i wasn't able to eat- so no birthday cake, which made me really unhappy.  at some point, i managed to talk a nurse into bringing me food- and i got a turkey sandwich from the nurses lounge.  when i ate this thing, it was like i hadn't eaten in years.  i still joke with dave about how it was the best turkey sandwich ever.  nurses kept changing shifts, and every time one would leave me, i would be so sad because i was going to have someone new.  at some point on sunday i decided i would also have an epidural.  this was another thing i had not planned on- i really wanted to wait and play things by ear with my un-induced delivery.  by sunday afternoon i was exhausted and in a lot of pain from the catheter, and the cervadil- i hoped the epidural would help something and it did- after getting it, i felt the most alert and awake i had been since arriving.  i think i had dilated to a 2 around this point and i may have started the pitocin (or maybe it was monday).  my blood pressure remained high, which i knew because i had to have it taken EVERY 15 MINUTES.  :(

my sister in law and brother in law had picked ian up at our house and taken him to fathers' day brunch and to hang out at their house for a few days.  this kept me from worrying and freaking out about where he was going to be, and he probably forgot we existed. 

dumb side story- it was sometime during this day that i had found out that kim kardashian had delivered her baby.  i remember i found out that she was pregnant shortly after i found out that i was pregnant and that she was due around the same time i was.  i knew she had to be delivering as early as i was- and i remember seeing that terrible picture of her swollen feet during the summer.  so we had the same thing at the same time and delivered a day apart.  too bad she has done little to nothing to bring awareness to pre-e.

i will have to finish this in a part 3 because i'm tired now.  here are some photos from my 2nd day in the hospital...

 me in my l&d room. hooked up to a blood pressure monitor and magnesium sulfate drip.  i am so swollen.

 i think as a pregnant person, i thought the rest of me looked like me.  when i see these pictures, i can hardly recognize myself. my face is so swollen i can hardly smile.  even my arms and hand look huge.

 preeclampsia gets a big ol thumbs down.  

 seriously.  my giant face.  i am so swollen that i just have slits for eyes.  ugh.

 i think i'm napping here.  or faking  my arm bracelets keep getting tighter b\c i keep getting more and more swollen.  

 i feel like crying when i see my feet... and what used to be my ankle.  

ow.

i'll try not to take 3 months to write the next part...

Isla's Birth Story. Part I

Three months ago my world was completely turned upside down.  I was 34 weeks pregnant, and I was exhausted.  I really was wondering how i was going to make it to the end.  The weekend before (June 8th), we had a lot going on.  I went to a baby shower, and then headed to my in-laws for my father-in-law's 60th birthday party.  By the time we got to the party, i was completely wiped out.  Sunday was the same- we went back over for my nephew's baby dedication, and that night the 3 of us went to dinner together for pizza- not knowing it'd be our last meal with just the 3 of us!  Dave was headed to Lake Geneva in Wisconsin that night for an all-week work conference, and although he was only an hour away, I still felt very nervous.  I had been to the doctor the prior week, and everything was great- the following week I would be starting my weekly appointments- when he got back we planned to start setting everything in motion:  getting meals prepared, getting the crib ready, washing clothes- our baby was going to be here in about 5-7 weeks!  I joked with him about having the baby while he was gone- i knew the week might be rough, but i'd make it.  I spent most of the week at my in-laws' house- I was watching Ian and my nephews Wednesday morning, so we just planned to stay there Tuesday night.  I was going to take Ian back home Wednesday and come back Thursday evening and then we were going to go to the Children's Museum with my mother-in-law, nephews and sister-in-law Friday morning.  Dave would be back Friday afternoon, and we would do birthday and father's day stuff over the weekend. 

i was really excited for dave to come home on friday- it had been a long week and i was ready to have a break.  i had made plans to have dinner that night with my friends beth, kristen and melissa.  we had decided to have dinner at a place called claimjumpers, that i had never been to before.  these dinners had become a regular thing for us, and with kristen and i both being pregnant they had become sort of an indulge-fest.  so, of course, i indulged.  when i got home, i felt over-indulged.  i talked to dave for a little bit and then i tried to go to bed.  1 AM rolled around, then 2, i was starting to feel worse.  i had terrible heartburn, a headache and my back was killing me.  plus, i was having my usual contractions.  i chalked it up to the food, but still was a little worried.  i started downloading pregnancy apps, contraction counters; i googled "back labor", and i looked to see if my acupuncturist was available (she wasn't).  3 rolled around and i had had enough.  i had been to the bathroom many times, had water, taken tums, and gas-x and nothing seemed to help the heartburn.  finally i decided to buck up and take the mylanta i had- oh, that stuff is the most terrible stuff of all time.  i poured it up and took it like i was taking a shot, and as i swallowed it something terrible happened- i could feel my heartburn drop from my sternum all the way down to my belly button.  i felt absolutely miserable and had no idea what to do.  finally, i decided around 4 AM that i would call the 24-hr nurse line provided by my insurance- the nurse suggested that i drink 2 big glasses of water and lie down on my left side for 30 minutes to see how i feel, and if i wasn't feeling better, i should call my doctor.  i guzzled my water, and went to lay down, and i finally got still enough that just as the sun was coming up, i finally fell asleep.

i really don't remember much about saturday- i'm pretty sure i got up and had breakfast with dave & ian.  before i knew it, i was back in bed asleep, and i slept for quite a while.  i felt better, so i just figured i was tired from the lack of sleep.  when i woke up, dave & ian had left a note that they had gone out for a while- i was so out of it, i had no idea they had even left.  i decided to pull myself together and shower b\c i really wanted to go out to dinner for my birthday- i really wanted thai food!  before we left to go, i spoke on the phone with my friend katie- she called to see how things were and i had told her about my previous night.  she asked if i had had my blood pressure checked recently- and i told her not since my last appointment.  she then asked if i would go have it checked on my way to dinner- and i agreed, so i told dave we needed to stop at walgreens.  we headed out to dinner and when we were almost there, we stopped and i made my way to the pharmacy.  they didn't have have a machine, so i waited while some guy picked up his $1000 prescription (no lie!).  i asked the tech about having my bp taken and he said i would have to fill out some forms and wait for the pharmacist, which i did.  finally the pharmacist took my bp and this conversation took place:

rx:  your blood pressure is 210/106.  that's high.  are you going to see your doctor soon?
me:  yes, on tuesday.
rx:  be sure to tell them when you get there that this was your blood pressure.

so i left walgreens and i told dave in the car.  i guess i didn't think anything of it b\c the pharmacist seemed so ok with it.  when we got to the restaurant i texted katie, my mother in law and my sister in law.  of course, my phone is about to die (per usual) and i am getting a barrage of texts about getting it checked elsewhere for a second opinion (walmart, the er, etc), but we decide that we'll check it at my in-law's house b\c my father in law has his own monitor.  so we order dinner and wait.  while we're waiting i google blood pressure, and i get these graphics... it was my first warning...

 (yes.  i am basically dead).

i didn't say anything to dave, but i was a little worried at that point.  everything kind of went crazy after this.  my friend katie calls me, and she was freaking out.  she said that she had just talked to her mother (a midwife) and her mother was worried and she was worried, and did i call my doctor?  then she said what scared me: "people die from this."  i promised her i would call my doctor and i hung up.  so i told dave i was going to call, just to be safe.  i had to have the doctor paged since it was saturday, and luckily my doctor was on call.  she got back to me pretty quickly and we had this conversation.

me:  hi, sorry to bother you, but i had a really bad night last night- i thought i ate too much- i had heartburn, a headache, back pains- i just felt bad, so a friend told me to have my bp checked and i just did and it was 210/106

dr: ohmygod

me: uh, yeah, and i think i've also gained about 10-15 lbs since the last time i saw you (at this point i was up at least 55 lbs).

dr.  i need you to come in right away.

me:  i'm at dinner right now

dr.  you don't have time to finish dinner- you need to come straight in, i will let them know to expect you.

me:  i don't have a bag packed, we have ian with us

dr.  dave can drop you off and pack a bag for you, you need to be here right now.

so i went back in and told dave.  commence both of us freaking out.  we let ian finish eating while dave had our meal bagged to go and paid.  we headed to the hospital frantically calling for someone to watch ian.  i was making a list of things i might need on a scrap piece of paper for dave to pack while he was at home.  i was freaking out about leaving ian so soon.  we were all pretty scared.  i kissed ian goodbye as dave dropped me off at the er, and i just remember being so sad.  i felt like he was really being cheated out of these last few weeks, and then i waved goodbye to them and walked in... and i went to the wrong place.   oops.  i was supposed to go straight to l&d, so they called a nurse down, put a bracelet on me, and she came and wheeled me to the l&d triage, and that's where my journey began.  i feel like i've typed so much already and nothing has even "happened" yet.  i'll leave you a picture of what my feet looked like.  don't look at this while you're eating, or before you eat.  seriously though:  if you are pregnant and your feet ever look like this- call a doctor.  

my poor feet.  and my poor toenails.  i was supposed to get a pedicure the next week.  they were hideous.  luckily, i had a friend fix them before delivery...  those marks near the big toe- my flip flop indention.