change the way you spend

here's the last post, as promised...  sorry it's so late!

i'm devoting my birthday week to big changes that we've made in our lives over the last 2 years- particularly the last year.  i've already talked about changing the way we eat and use... now i'm here to talk about the money, money, money...

money has been a very big challenge for us over the last 2 years.  it's definitely been the single-biggest source of tension in our home.  when we were married we each had debt- we each had our own student loans, dave had his car and we each had credit card debt- his had our honeymoon on it, and mine just had irresponsibility on it...  $27k in total debt.  boo.  we immediately got to work.  we had a house, and i had just gotten a new job- we were rolling right along.  1 year later we were down to $21k.  then the next spring things started falling apart.  i've probably told this 1000x, but here goes again- dave was laid off in january 2009.  he had made it through 3 previous lay offs, but this time not many people escaped.  luckily, he still had a month left to work, and a month left of pay after that.  during this time a job opened up at his company at the office he worked at when he first started w\ ge (outside of chicago).  he interviewed for the job, and was offered.  he had 45 days to report up there, and they would not assist w\ relo.  so we had 45 days to pack, move and figure out what to do w\ a house that we had not even owned for 2 years.  i ended up staying by myself for 6 weeks in atlanta packing our house (our neighborhood had recently been hit by a string of robberies too- comforting).  our rental prospect fell through and w\ foreclosures in the neighborhood, we were forced to short sale or else we'd be joining them.  making a long story short- we sold our house for almost $90k less than what we owed- luckily that was all forgiven.  blah blah.

so we moved up here and i found out i was pregnant a week later.  too bad no one wants to hire a pregnant woman.  i got a job at target, and worked there through the delivery.  during this time, we managed to pay off dave's car.  now we manage to live w\ my minimal income from the 2 jobs i have (i stay home w\ ian) and what my husband has.  with the ge insurance debacle from having ian and our previous er trip- we've accrued extra debt.  so we are working on paying that off...  it's hard.  most months i feel like we just have enough money to pay our bills and pay nothing extra, but we press on!

we started listening to dave ramsey while we were still in atlanta and we are currently at work on our debt snowball.  paying off the smaller debts up to the largest.  we currently pay just the minimum on both of our loans while we work on the hospital bill and our insurance.  once the hospital bill gets paid off (barring anything else happening) we start paying on dave's loan harder- then mine!  i'd like to get all this paid off before we think of buying a home again. 

here's the only advice i can offer on what works for us-

1.  don't use credit cards if at possible.  i wish this was fully true for us.  i have 2 store cards that i use for points purposes that are paid immediately upon use.  we also have a regular credit card that we use for big purchases (airline tickets).  our goal is to not have to use this card at all.

2.  make a budget.  we have been using the same excel file for almost 4 years that we add a new page to monthly.  it has a list of all our bills, how much is due, when it's due, how much remains, etc.  it helps to see the numbers in front of you.  instead of blindly paying every month, i can see that when i pay, the number gets smaller- and that still inspires me after 4 years.

3.  sell or donate what you don't need.  make money where you least expect it!  we are in the process of weeding through junk in our house.  we have been selling things on ebay and have made about $300 in the last 2 months.  what we don't sell, we'll donate.  whether it's having money in our pocket right now, or using the donation to write off on our taxes- it's putting money in our pocket either way!

4.  take advantage of referral programs.  some companies will offer you money if you refer people to them- we are with dish, and they offer up to $500 a year.  just through referrals so far, dave & i will be getting $45 off our bill.  that's our entire bill.

5.  less spending on junk.  this is a work in progress.  just learning not to buy stuff we don't need and saving for what we do need.  i started making a list of wants and needs.  seeing the list helps me know that we have to earn it.

6.  couponing.  i could write an entire post on this, but i won't bore you.  we shop @ supertarget b\c i get a 10% discount + 5% redcard discount.  coupons + making my list in advance = usually saving at least $50 per bill!  btw, coupons aren't just for junk food!

7.  cheap dates-  being broke may mean that you can't go on vacation, but it doesn't mean you can't have date night.  we try to do our dates via coupons/deals from groupon, scoubmob, or living social.  that gives us food or movie tickets for half price!  woot!

and those are just a few (whew!) of the ways we try to make our money work.  i'm always looking for more ideas, so bring them on!

fml or how i reached my insurance deductible by february for the second year in a row

boo.

if you have been reading this blog since i was pregnant, then you know about our insurance ordeal(s).  if not, let me (quickly) explain.

in september 2009, my happiness in having my first baby was turned to fear when i learned that my husband's company (which i hate with every fiber of my being) was "revamping" their insurance plans.  this meant that on january 1, 2010, we would be covered by a new plan, with a new, much higher deductible.  our deductible which was once $300, would now be $2,000, $3,000 or $4,000 (and after that only 80% of costs would be paid until you hit your max- which is double your deductible).  the only things that would be paid would be "preventative care."  so in essence, they want their employees to be healthier, go to their dr's for preventative appointments in order to avoid other appts and to cut down on unnecessary er visits when you could wait to see your dr. in the morning.  what they failed to realize is that emergencies happen, and that PEOPLE HAVE BABIES.  this company did not care that i would only be pregnant 3 weeks (not even) of 2010.  my condition was not "pre-existing."  in other words, i, a perfectly healthy woman was being punished for having a baby.  we tried to deliver early, ian's lungs weren't healthy enough, we had to wait, we got slapped with $4000+ worth of bills and we are STILL paying for the birth of my son 13 months after his birth.

dave & i will probably not have another baby while he is working for this company.  sad, isn't it.

so, january 20, 2011- my son's 1st birthday.  we go to play group and have a good time.  monday, january 24, ian starts coughing.  i learn from another mother that her son was diagnosed w\ rsv over the weekend.  rsv takes 4-6 days to show up- explaining why this baby wasn't sick until the weekend and why ian wasn't sick until monday.  at this time ian also appears to have all 4 of his top front teeth coming in.  yay.  we're also on the brink of a wonder week.  joy.

saturday, january 29th ian throws up after nursing from coughing so much- it's the 2nd time it's happened that week.  we are able to get him in to see the pediatrician, who almost writes us off after we explain ian's "symptoms" until i finally get ian to drink water from his sippy- which causes him to cough.  the dr. doesn't say one way or another whether ian has rsv, but his cough is consistent, he has a runny nose and he has lost 5 oz.  we go home irritated.

wednesday, february 2nd.  dave & i are watching a movie when all the sudden ian wakes up screaming in terror- we usually give him a few minutes- and we did, but the screaming doesn't subside.  i go in and pick him up, but he's still screaming, i rock him, i walk with him, we turn the light on in the room- still screaming.  i take him into our room, lay him on  our bed, try to sit him on the floor to crawl, give him to dave- he was still inconsolable.  i sent my friend a text b\c i was so worried, and she called me back- the screaming was terrible- her husband could hear him.  i talked to her for a few minutes, and then called my mil.  we finally decided to page the pediatrician's office- the pediatrician was SO RUDE (there are 8 dr's at our practice and thank God this wasn't my dr.).  he told us that we should take ian to the er because "he couldn't help me over the phone" (ass).  this was our worst fear- do we wait and see if he gets better & risk something bad happening b\c we are afraid to take him to the er b\c of the cost or do we take him and know that we're going to get slapped with a bill that could range up to $6000 (i call this fear-mongering, husband's company calls this "insurance.")

so we bundle our screaming kid in his snowsuit (please remember we had a BLIZZARD that had just ended 8 hours before this) and drive as slooowly as possible on the awful roads to a hospital i'm not familiar with (the hospital i delivered at was just too far to go to).  it's almost midnight.  ian is calm for the car ride.  we get him checked in, they take his temp (no temp), weigh him (he's now lost 8 oz) and ask us some questions, then we go into our er room.  the nurse comes in and asks questions, we tell him about the possible rsv, the blood that's been in the diaper for 3 months, etc.  ian goes back & forth the entire night between screaming in terror/tiredness/anger/confusion and laughing or being calm.  he wants nothing to do with me, and only sleeps in small spurts when dave is holding him.

tests performed at hospital:  catheter for urinalysis, rsv test, breathing treatment, chest x-rays, iv and blood draws (had to leave the room for that one), ultrasound, and abdominal x-rays.  everything comes back negative except for "inflammation" in the blood work, which gets us admittance to the regular hospital (around 6 am).  ian is asleep on dave, so i drive home, grab snacks, extra clothes/diapers and fight morning traffic back to the hospital.  we're in our room (which they don't have a crib for) and waiting on the ped.  we finally see the ped who goes over all the inconclusive tests- and says that maybe ian just had gas (i will refrain from punching anyone in the face at this time).  we're told to monitor is intake & outtake for a few hours, and they'll let us know when we can leave.  finally after sitting in a hospital room all effing day doing nothing- we get discharged around 2:30 (and ian is asleep).  so we wait until he wakes up, we get his iv out, and we go.  we have no answers, and now we have no money.  awesome.  we also got to visit the pediatrician again on friday the 11th for blisters in the diaper area- we got the honor of seeing the dr. for a full 3 minutes for him to tell me to keep doing what i'm doing for it, and that maybe the concentration of his urine is what caused the blisters.  grrrrrrrrrrrr.

so thank you to everyone who asked about ian during these last 3 weeks.  i wish i could say i knew what was going on with him that night- or during these last 3 weeks.  he's currently doing really well- happy and smiling and laughing- he's being himself.  me- i'm recovering.  i was pretty depressed during that time- it was worse than anytime after i had given birth to him.  it was hard.  we're glad to all be back to normal.  now, to win the lottery and pay off those medical bills!

a couple photos to remember this by...

ian in the hospital crib- which looks like a cage.  and finally asleep after being discharged.

oh baby, it's another baby?

no, sillies.  you must be effing crazy.  i am not having another baby right now, or anytime soon.  so, don't get your hopes up, and stop asking...

also, this isn't directed to anyone, or meant to insult anyone.  when people want to have babies is their business.  this is my disclaimer!

i did want to write on this because it seems a hot topic now- ian and all of his friends are nearing 1, and siblings are already on the way or in the works!  i on the other hand feel sometimes as if i am being looked at like i have 2 heads because i'm not in the process of making a sibling for my child...

my niece was born 3 weeks ago, and if you've been following my blog for quite some time, you'll remember that my other niece was also born the week of thanksgiving the previous year...  they are 1 year and 5 days apart.  and as much as this thrills some people to no end the thought of another cute cuddly baby in the house, all i can think about is my terrified sister-in-law who has a 1 year old that needs her, and she has a 3 week old that needs 100% of her attention.  she can't even pick up her 1 year old b\c she just had her 2nd c-section in as many years- and she lives 225 miles away from here, and her husband works all day, and their other daughter is in school.  she's tired, she's experiencing the baby blues, and she's trying to figure out this new baby, and she's trying to figure out nursing, and my niece doesn't get why mommy won't pick her up- and it's hard.  i know she'll figure it out, because she's awesome, but i think she would rather have spaced them out further.  and that's reason enough for me...

reasons for me to have another baby:
1.  they are cute and cuddly, and smell like babies, and tiny, and they have tiny cries, and clothes and yawns
2.  the actual experience of having a baby is awesome
3.  i love being pregnant, most people actually give a crap about you- plus it's fun to eat.
4.  my biological clock is ticking (i am under 35, so this does not apply to me)
5.  i have a lady condition that requires me to rapid fire babies (this does not apply to me- luckily b\c sadly i have many girlfriends with this issue- and it's just not fair)

reasons not to have another baby
1.  i would love to be pregnant again, but i must constantly remind myself that the experience of being pregnant is temporary
2.  babies grow up too fast- when i first had ian, i kept thinking about how he was going to grow so fast, and i wanted him to stay a baby forever.  yes, he has grown fast, and i wish he would stay a baby forever, but guess what, they all grow.
3.  i am not michelle duggar
4.  having a baby is a financial burden (yes, burden b\c you have no money- the baby itself is NOT a burden).  dave and i do not use credit cards (unless they say "ann taylor loft"...), so debt is not an option for us- however, after  not having credit card debt for 3 years, we have found ourselves having to use our 1 card b\c sometimes the money runs out before the month does, and another baby would be 2x the struggle.
5.  we are still paying for having ian after the insurance shenanigans
6.  i'm just enjoying ian.  i'm enjoying the hell out of him.  just.  him.


i had a friend who told me shortly after ian was born (she had just had her own baby as well) that if she never had another baby besides the one she had just had, that she would be content.  i thought she was crazy.  now, i can understand where she was coming from.  although i would love a little girl, i am perfectly content with ian- i even told dave that i would be happy if i didn't have another boy because i wanted ian to be our only boy- he's just that special.  first born babies are lucky:  they get mommy & daddy all to themselves- no sharing with siblings or competing for time.  i want ian to get as much one-on-one time before he has to share me with someone else.  i also don't want 2 babies in diapers, but that's another story.  so don't plan on me seeing yes or 2 pink lines or a plus sign or whatever your test reads for at least another year- or more.

and that's my take.

35 weeks = 35 days

I found it interesting that my little counter says "I am 35 weeks pregnant. 35 days to go." It's just funny to me that those numbers match. What have I been doing lately besides running around like a crazy woman? I had 2 baby showers the last 2 weekends- 1 in Georgia with my girlfriends and 1 here in Illinois with Dave's sisters, mom and grandma. We got a lot of great things for baby at both showers. I was starting to worry baby wouldn't have enough clothes- I need have no fear! At the GA shower we played a fun game where I was blindfolded and got to taste baby food- it was pretty funny- I even had 2 other friends brave enough to try it- funny that neither of them were my pregnant friends at the shower! Here are a few photos from that shower:

Tiffany- 16 weeks, Me- 33 weeks

I am pretty sure I had just eaten the peas in this picture. GROSS

opening gifts = always fun

Things are looking good in baby's room- all the furniture and accessories have been put together. We have "piles" in the baby's room right now: 1. I have 1 load of clothes left to wash from the stuff we got this past weekend. 2. I have kitchen and eating accessories that need a home in one of our cabinets. 3. I have stuff that needs to be returned (multiples) or exchanged (like for instance how someone registered for the wrong diaper genie refills... i wonder who).

I am ordering our bedding today. God has really blessed us as far as this goes- no one tells you, but baby bedding is EXPENSIVE! It's probably the most expensive item we're having to purchase on our own. Bedding + the accesories to go with it (extra sheets, etc) were totaling out around $300-$400. For starters- I am lucky that I joined this points website about 10 years ago- by simply answering a survey a week, and clicking through on emails I had earned over 30,000 points. Now Dave and I wanted to use those points for gift cards for an HDTV, but then baby came along. We found out that the site that had our baby bedding also was part of the points program, and we were able to cash in my points for $200 in gift cards (to arrive in 2-6 weeks (from last week), but that is another story in itself). Of course, even with that we still had around $175 or so that wasn't going to be covered- and here's where we've been super blessed. We have received money from various people for baby, and we used most of it for painting the room. All that we had left was around $20. Since Saturday, Dave & I have received $160. Put that with the $20, and it is exactly enough to cover the ENTIRE cost of what we were going to have to spend on bedding out of pocket. WHAT A BLESSING!

So we at least will have baby bedding in a few days... with our accessories, it may be a month or so from now. Shh, don't tell baby. Of course, pictures will follow.

Well, it's time for mom to rest- I am working tomorrow, and need as much energy as possible for that. Just over a week left at work... whew! Plus, I know i'll probably wake up a few times during the night before then- not only to use the bathroom, but I have a new affliction- acid reflux. Let's just say it takes about 2 seconds to happen, and in that 2 seconds hurts worse than heartburn. Ugh. I've got to try to stay on my side while i'm sleeping- but my body just wants to be comfortable!

Good Buys, Hello!

Unfortunately, Dave & I are not rich. We had planned to be, but it hasn't worked out that way for us yet. Especially since we moved up here 4 months ago, found out we were pregnant a week after we moved up here, have yet to sell or rent our house in Atlanta, and I was unable to find work that was comparable to my fabulous job in Atlanta.

Having a baby is stressful enough, having a baby and paying a mortgage on an empty house 700+ miles away, while living with your in laws in their spare bedroom while the rest of your stuff sits in storage and you're trying to get rid of said empty house so you can move out of in laws house and into new house in 9 months is even more stressful.

Needless to say, we need all the bargains we can get. It started when I read Baby Bargains. I finished this book- all 600 pages in a little over a week, obsessively underlining and earmarking pages of what would be safest and most cost-efficient for Us + Baby. As we registered, I carried the book with me and un-earmarked as husband scanned things in. We discussed what things we felt like we should buy ourselves, what things we could buy used and off we went. We've done pretty good so far.

1. Maternity Clothes- most women can spend upwards of $500-$600 on clothes they will only wear for a few months. I first hit up Goodwill this summer looking for bargains and picked up some cute tops, then husband got me a $50 gift card to Motherhood- which I saved for fall clothes since I knew i'd spend the majority of my pregnancy in freezing temperatures! Then I hit the jackpot- a friend of ours from my parents church had just given birth in May, and she had tons of maternity clothes- would I like them?! OF COURSE! When my parents came to visit in August they lugged w\ them 2 black garbage bags full of summer/fall/winter maternity clothes w\ about 10 pairs of pants. Needless to say, I'm set. I may add a few things in here and there, but I'm pretty much good to go. On top of this, we've spent maybe $100 on our own- Savings of $400-$500!!

2. Glider Rocker- Let me just say those things are expensive. They can run up to $1,200 at PBK! I don't think so. Even a glider rocker at Target or Walmart can run up to $350- I'm sorry, but I'm saving my $350 for a Medela Pump In Style (or so I hope)... I hit up Craig's List to look for a rocker, and I found a pretty sweet deal- $50! Even better- it was in pretty much new condition, and it came with an ottoman. It looks unused! We'll just say I saved $200-$300!

Here's our awesome like-new glider rocker!




3. Amby Baby Motion Bed- My friend Brittany told me about this bed, and then I read about it in the Baby Bargains book. They recommended that it was something you can buy used, so I figured, of course! The Amby Bed is awesome. It's a hanging hammock that's womb-like to help your newborn sleep, plus the positioning also is supposed to help with colic, and reflux. A little side note about how awesome the Amby is supposed to be- it's sold out for the next 20 days on their website. I really wanted this bed for our baby, the cost- packages start at $237. I've been searching on Craig's List for an Amby for a while- Craig's List tip- if you can, wait. Things will go down in price. We had been watching an Amby for a while, and once it went down in price, we sprang on it- made an offer $20 lower, and scored! So Monday night we drove into the city and picked up our Amby for $120!! Savings- $140!
Here's the Amby Bed! Can't wait until we have a house to set it up in!!

(photo removed)

Those are just the beginning of my baby bargains (I hope)!!