i have felt like a failure as a mom this week. i certainly hope that feeling is normal. i just have felt at some times this week that ian and i are not connecting, that he'd rather be with anyone but me. it's a sad, lonely feeling. i think part of it come from spending so much time with him, and not always having time for myself, but that's hard because i find it difficult to be away from him. he needs me, doesn't he? who can take care of him better than his mommy?
i am praying for peace this week- that the Lord will give me peace about when i am away from ian- that i don't feel guilty. that i can let go, and let others lend a hand. that i won't see ian's tears and believe that they're because of my shortcomings. Lord, please. give me peace.
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You're such a good Mommmy! I am sure everyone has weeks like yours. Try and take a little time for yourself, even if it's just a bubblebath or coffee break. Renew yourself and your little one will appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteI have so totally been there! At the peak, I called my next door neighbor (an "grandmotherly" type) and cried into the phone - He hates me! She came right over and took a crying baby from me, and let me breathe. Then we chatted, and I felt better. I think a lot of it has to do with being home all day every day with the baby, and minimal adult interaction. YOU ARE SO NOT A FAILURE AS A MOM!! Ian is lucky to have you! It's just finding your groove, both you and he. I still have days, and I bet we'll have them for the rest of our lives. God help us get through it :)
ReplyDeleteaw, mel! you will be in my prayers for sure. ian is so lucky to have a mom like you. :)
ReplyDeleteOh yeah welcome to the club. Hopefully your husband won't have to join the "What is my hysterical screaming wife doing handing me a screaming child at 3am and walking round in circles crying before sitting on the floor and moaning" club. Whenever I feel like that Husby takes over and I get some me time - usually in the house so I can sneak a peek at a sleeping babe or get a quick hug when I feel too far away from him. Take a long shower and pamper yourself. Sit outside and read a book. Go for a walk. Once you feel like you again you will see the baby bond for what it truly is, unbreakable - oh how that little guy loves you! Phil 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. This is my motto this week!
ReplyDeleteits totally normal... I would say if u have someone to help ,let them do. You go out for a pedicure or a date night with ur hubs..I left Jenna with my hubby in her 6 th week for a haircut.. i was feeling guilty but then when i came back i felt so much better .. so relax !!ur a good mom
ReplyDeletethank you so much for the sweet words, girls. it's been a pretty crazy week, and my mind has been all over the place. i'm going into the office for a few hours tomorrow, and my mnl is going to watch ian. i'm hoping i can also have some time to myself after i finish with work!
ReplyDeletei hope this is just a phase. if not, i have an ob appointment in a few weeks, and i'm going to have a talk with my doc!