baby #2. week 33

well, i'm actually all caught up on monthly updates, so i think i can start doing weekly ones since the end is drawing near!

how far along- 33 wks (may 29-june 4)

due date- july 20th

weight gain- i had a dr's appointment today (tuesday) and i've gained 5 lbs in the last 2 wks.  wth.  that puts me up 40 lbs total.  for crying out loud.

symptoms- oh, you know, the usual.  acid reflux, heartburn, swollen feet, ankles and calves, terrible snoring and feeling like i can't breathe.  all lovely stuff!

cravings- ice cream sandwiches!

aversions- we had our windows open and a neighbor was grilling and i was pretty grossed out.

am i showing-  it's fairly obvious

missing anything-  my shoes.  all of my lovely shoes.
sleep-  i am still snoring- it's terrible.  dave recorded it yesterday afternoon and made me listen to it.  i was so embarrassed.  lately, i lay wide awake at night though b\c i dread going to sleep.  having trouble breathing has been no fun- and i told dave the other day that i was a little scared of dying in my sleep...  so needless to say, i've been really tired.  i sadly started wearing breathe right strips, and they seem to help a little- but you can only wear them for 12 hrs, so i save them for bedtime.  

innie or outie-  still depends on the time of day! 

movement- lots of movement.  i don't understand how there are limbs in some of the places where i'm feeling movements.  and they're getting lower too. 

doctor's visits- i had a visit this morning.  i talked to the dr. about how i was having a lot of trouble breathing.  my blood pressure is perfect, there's nothing weird in my urine, and she didn't hear anything when she listened to my chest- so pre-eclampsia was out, tg.  she did point out to me that i've blown up like a balloon in the last 2 weeks (um, thanks)- esp in my face, and that's probably what's keeping me from breathing well.  good to know.  so it probably explains the 5 lbs.  i hope that most of this is water weight!!

boy or girl-  girl!
names-  nothing yet.
braxton hicks-  still the same as before.  less in the belly, more in the pelvic area
gym-  we only went to the gym 3 days last week- but we did do 1 day in the pool and that was waaay better than walking the track.  a friend gave me some maternity clothes, which included a swimsuit, so i ended up not having to buy one.
what's next-  well, all i have to do is make it to saturday and i can have this baby at any time- which just means that they will not stop my labor once i hit 34 wks.  so even though i have 34 wks as tomorrow- i have to go by their schedule.  my next appointment is in 2 wks- and from then on, weekly.  that's when exams will start to check for dilation.  omg.

 33 weeks

top- liz lange maternity- target (from a friend)

skirt-  lna brand from open sky (one of those designer discount sites)

i've been doing some nesting this week, although we have no where to nest...  i went through ian's nb clothes and pulled out all the plain onesies and any gender-neutral stuff he had that i thought we could use for baby.  then i packed up some stuff in his room to store in our garage and arranged the closet.  i made an appointment for a final hair cut, brow wax and a pedicure (might be a while before i have those again).  now i am thinking about when we need to get the baby stuff in place (hammock, pack n play).  i am also desperately trying to sell some baby stuff we had for ian that we have upgraded (why is it sooo difficult)?!  and of course, it's getting close to time for me to start packing a bag and getting my birth plan written up.

9 weeks to go at max.  i can't believe it!

oh... and we got a preview of the maternity pics that our cousin took!  they're lovely!  as usual, if you're in the ft. wayne, indiana area, you should check out king photography!!

below is my favorite (so far... we've only seen a preview)... and you can see the rest here  (and like the facebook page)!

 

weight ain't nothing but a number

mcfatty monday has come to an end.  and it's only appropriate that it ended on the same day i planned to write this post.  i've said it 100x... i've been working out for 6 months tirelessly, i've been tracking my calories for 2+ months religiously... and all for 8 lbs.  blah blah blah.  i've been so worried about the number on a scale, that sometimes i think it stands in the way of being able to see my true losses.  for me it's hard not to concentrate on those numbers b\c i remember the time (not terribly long ago) when i stepped on the scale and there were only 2 digits.  those days are in the past- and i've got to let go. 

last week i got some really awesome comments here (this link keeps getting jacked up) and then i read this post (especially note the last 2 photos- she weighs 10 lbs MORE than she was at her lowest, yet looks better than ever).  so leah, sarah, heather & jess... thank you.  i don't know you, but thank you. 

it's not about that digital number.  it's about how you feel.  how you feel in your clothes, how you feel in the gym.  how you feel day to day.  it's about the number of inches you've lost, the amount of muscle you've gained. 

feeling good and looking good are my new focus, no matter what my scale says, no matter how "overweight" my wii says. 

enjoy the journey.  updates will follow, but i just won't focus on it weekly.  i've got this.

that's overweight!

that's what the wii says to me every morning when i step on our wii fit.  since i started seriously trying to lose weight 2 months ago, i have lost to date only 8 lbs.  that's ridiculous.  2 lbs a month.  i can't quite figure out what i am doing wrong.

i have been tracking my calories daily since mid may.  and yes, there are days when i go over- and there have been a few days where i have been way over.  but the majority of my days i am under my calories, or only over by about 10.  we have been working out 5-6 days a week since february and now that our triathlon has come & gone, we have cut down a little on the intensity of our workouts, but we are still going and staying faithful to it.  we're even planning our  next race.

so i have been weighing myself everyday on our wii fit since early june.  i didn't have a set weigh in time, but in the last few weeks have set my time to be 1st thing in the morning.  i wake up, i get ian up and put him in his seat for breakfast, and i weigh in either while his food is cooking or while he's eating.  and it goes a little something like this...

m-  gained 1.2 lbs
t- lost 0.3 lbs
w- gained 0.5 lbs
th- lost 2.5 lbs
f- gained 1.5 lbs.

this is my week on the wii fit.  back & forth, up & down.  it's so frustrating.  and it still wants me to lose 21 more lbs!!  21 lbs.  i'm doing all the things that i thought would be helping me lose weight, and i'm getting no results.  i skipped weigh ins on friday & sunday and today when i weighed in i had 0.0 lbs.  that's better than a gain i guess.  i think the wii fit & i are going to take a break.  it's not me, it's you.  i'm going to keep counting my calories, keep working hard in the gym (pushing myself a little farther)... and see what i can come up with.  i am going to lose this weight, dammit.  and i'm not going to starve myself to do it!

progress

this week seemed tough.  i started on monday w\ a dr.'s appt. where according to their records, i was actually a lb heaver than what i weighed when i saw them last year.  they also had me about 5 lbs heavier than what my home scale has me listed as.  what the heck do i really weigh?!  however, weighing myself at home had me losing 2 lbs this week.  i was under my sugars 2 days this week, which for me, is really good.  it's the biggest thing i have to work on.  my problem has never really been eating too much.  it's just been eating too much sugar.  

i've had a problem in these last few weeks with being lazy about eating.  not lazy in that i'm just shoving junk in my mouth.  lazy in that i just don't feel like eating in general.  i think i've been trying to hard to eat good things- ie: only oatmeal and a non-sugar cereal for breakfast- that i just get bored.  i can only make so many salads for lunch.  then i just eat nothing b\c rather than make another salad, it's just easier that way.  and that's worse.  this morning i had a lara bar, a banana and milk for breakfast- only b\c i didn't feel like making oatmeal or pouring a bowl of cereal.  needless to say, i'm probably already over my sugar today- and all i've had is fruit! 

workouts seem to be getting harder to squeeze in now that it's summer.  we got a jogging stroller from dave's cousin last summer, but the tire is getting flat and the pump is missing a piece.  dave's bicycle pump doesn't fit.  tuesday we decided that instead of going to the gym, we would walk to one of the gas stations by our house (there's one located a mile away on either side of our neighborhood) to pump the tire and then jog back.  we chose the wrong one.  we got all the way there to find that the air machine was broken.  boo.  wednesday was the best workout of the week.  friday was a freak out session by me where i actually cried about our upcoming event.  there's a lot of self-doubt and nerves involved.  we have 2 weeks to go. 

just keep swimming...

i'm linking up with Blair for McFatty Monday over @ Heir to Blair

the dust settles

birthday week and father's day weekend  aren't ever good for eating.  for one, we usually end up going out for both.  it's harder to track my calories when i'm out b\c not all restaurants are listed in the myfitnesspal app.  also, we end up eating home-cooked meals with family during that time- and that's even harder to track calories b\c i'm not the one who made them.  i'm happy to say that i'm back to my own home-cooked meals made by me where i'm able to track and list every ingredient.  although i do love family dinners. 

i'm also pleased to report that i finished my 1st 2 weeks doing wii fit workouts/weigh ins/body tests.  due to the wii fit being crazy- i had a goal of 138 lbs to lose in those first two weeks.  and although the wii said i was approaching my goal at a good pace- sadly, i didn't make my goal...  this time i was able to set a more reasonable goal.  my current goal is 11 lbs.  losing this 11 lbs will get me into the "normal" bmi range, and perhaps will get the wii fit to stop saying "that's overweight" every time i step on.  so far i've lost a total of around 7 lbs since i started getting serious about the way i eat.

workouts were also a little crazy this week.  monday, i missed the gym b\c they now close the nursery early, and it's become impossible to get ian there before his nap begins.  tuesday we ended up walking around the neighborhood.  wednesday, my sweet husband took ian during his lunch hour so i could go to the gym & run (our jogging stroller has a flat and the pump is missing a piece, grr), all so i could go to a party with my friend that evening (therefore sacrificing his own workout).  thursday we had to be in the city, so we missed that workout.  and friday we were finally back together @ the gym (even though i forgot my shoes- and sadly that's not the first time).  saturday we finally were able to hit the bike path.  i have to admit- every time i get on the bike i'm scared.  i actually had tears in my eyes at some points during this ride.  i did pretty well, if you don't count the time we were stopped at a red light and i freaked out when it turned green therefore letting dave ride across the street without me... oops.

goals for this week-  keep tracking, don't miss a workout, keep watching calories and sugar.

i'm linking up with Blair for McFatty Monday over @ Heir to Blair

leave the past in the past

i was definitely slack this week- in fact, i'd say i did pretty bad.  thursday i had a pretty crappy day- and i took it out on myself with food- that's not a normal reaction of mine- to eat my emotions.  it was more of a convenience thing.  my body definitely let me hear about it afterwards.  surprise, surprise coming from me, right?  although the scale does seem to show another pound lost, i don't really feel like i'm doing any better, and i'm beginning to think this weight loss thing is impossible.  i just can't figure out how there's no way that i am dropping these pounds.  i am controlling my sugar intake, i am working out 6 days a week- busting my tail.  this is coming from someone who has proclaimed herself to be lazy when it comes to working out.  i don't run, i hate sweating, i get tired easily.  here i am working out 6 days a week- and i am seeing no results.  it's kinda disheartening.  i know that i have potential to be small- i was the girl who was 90 lbs until i was about 21.  now, i am not asking to be 90 lbs again, but i'd like to be in a healthy weight- especially for someone as small (short) as i am. 

example- here i am in college-

me and my roommate sophomore year.  i am in dire need of about 300 sandwiches to eat.  seriously.  oh, and we are so thug.

 here i am with my suitemates senior year, and with my brother & grandfather after i graduated college.  i like to call this photo collection spray tan- before & after.  or it's not easy being orange.  i am out of control.  i am also out of control thin.

it's funny how your body image morphs as you get older and look back at photos.  i'm sure then i thought i could afford to lose some weight.  of course, then i knew i was thin.  after i graduated college, i put on a pretty good bit of weight- but i lost that weight.  i stayed a pretty comfortable weight from after that weight loss through after i got married.  of course, i always thought i was huge after i got married.  i complained all the time, i cried when i stepped on the scale...  ridiculous.  it's now one of those things where i look back at photos from before being pregnant and i'm like... wow, you really were thin- what was wrong with you.  again, it's all in the perception.  here i am shortly after we were married.

this is probably a good weight for me.  i wish i knew how much i weighed then, because this would definitely be my goal weight.  i like to call this photo: so i really was thin.  

but i can't think about this.  i can't think about college.  my husband says that i watch biggest loser and set unrealistic expectations for my weight loss goals.  they lose 10 lbs in a week- of course they do- they work out 8 hours a day.  so my goal this week- stop thinking about the past.  don't think about what you weighed last week, last year, last decade.  think in the present, and be in the present.  i can only control today.  that's what i'm thinking about this week.

i'm linking up with Blair for McFatty Monday over @ Heir to Blair

holidays and diets don't mix

i forgot that it's tuesday and not monday, so i'm a little behind here. 

this is week 2 of my "detox" and well, it didn't work so well.  i am famous for starting things and not finishing them- so you might as well add weight loss to the mix.  monday-thursday went pretty well.  we had dinner @ panera tuesday w\ dave's mom, and i tried to select a meal through the my fitness pal app before we went, but everything seemed to have some form of sugar in it.  it was a little maddening.  in the end, i just tried to pick what showed the lowest amount- but had a good amount of calories and protein as well.  eating out is tough- and we don't even do it that often.  grr.

eating:

thursday morning my parents got here.  i knew my detox was going to be a little loose this weekend because of their visit- i knew we would cook meals and eat at home, but that we would also go out a few times b\c there are places that they like to eat when they're in town.  thursday i had my regular breakfast & lunch, but we went out to dinner that first night b\c dave had a hockey game.  i ordered shrimp & lettuce wraps- i think that fit in perfectly with my detox.  everyone else had nachos for an appetizer.  i had two chips with a little bit of toppings on there and that was it- control.  friday i also had my regular breakfast & lunch and that evening we made turkey burgers for dinner & had potato salad.  i started w\ my burger on a thin bun, but halfway through decided to chuck the bun and eat the burger alone.  good choice!  this was the first day i also deliberately had sweets.  i wen to pick up my rental car & they gave me a bag of homemade toffee.  i had one small broken up square and wrapped the bag up.  i did have a few more squares as the weekend went on, but i made sure to bag what was left up and send it back w\ my family for the car ride home. 

saturday & sunday were a little more tricky.  saturday i made an egg bake w\ veggies for breakfast- which fit into my plan.  the boys went to the cubs game, so it was me, mom & ian.  we decided to go to thai food for lunch.  great, noodles.  i chose rama thai, which is a favorite of mine and we had spring rolls.  i had 1 spring roll and then when my lunch came- i took a small portion and ate just that- i had the rest boxed up.  so even though i had something that had noodles in it, i didn't go overboard by trying to eat the entire thing!  that night we made a salad for dinner- the salad had apples in it, which are a no no right now, so i picked 98% of them out and gave them to dave.  sunday was the first day i didn't have breakfast in months!  not sure if that's good or bad- but i knew it would be better for the rest of my day.  we had a goodbye get together with dave's family since his sister & her husband are moving.  i knew there would be tons of food.  i made a dip from a recipe i had gotten at whole foods (sugar conscious, yay!) and a pie.  when we got there i had a small amount of the dip i had made w\ a couple pita chips.  for dinner there were hamburgers, brats, sausages and bbq.  i decided to go w\ the bbq (sans bun, as i normally eat it) which ended up being the best decision.  i got my hands on the nutritional facts later- and i made the right choice.  i had a small spoonful of pasta salad & baked beans, and some of my dip.  i also had a dr. pepper.  i know, i know.  i drank about 3/4 of my drink, poured the rest out and finished with water.  when dessert came around, dave & i split a piece of the pie i had made.  i actually stayed within my calories, but the sugar was out of control. 

monday (the end of my detox) was probably the toughest day of all.  for breakfast i had a protein bar- ick.  we went out to a local hotdog stand that we had never been to before (alleged as the greatest in the US).  there i had a hotdog, fries and coke.  dave & i split a tamale, which was actually teh one thign that would fit in my diet.  for dinner we went out for japanese, so i had meat and veggies.  not terrible i guess.  i'm back at it this week, continuing to work hard and be mindful of what i put into my body.  ::sigh::

sugar intake:
monday- 10g 
tuesday- 23g
wednesday- 14g
thursday- 12g
friday- 48g (i forgot, i had sweet tea- apparently splenda is sugar)
saturday- 47g (this is probably a little off b\c the recipe counts all the sugar from the apples- which i mostly picked out of my salad)
sunday- 105g (yikes)

needless to say, i'm feeling a little embarrassed... 

exercising:
we worked out only 5 days this week.  sunday is normally our off day, but with the boys going to the game saturday, we thought we'd make it up on sunday.  of course, sunday it stormed like crazy- so we weren't able to ride outside.  we ended up driving to the gym instead, but on the way there it started pouring the electricity went out as soon as i got inside.  so much for that.  i was tired this week during my workouts- which always makes me feel like a failure. 

side effects:
i was still having headaches this week, but they've been less frequent.  i also didn't seem to feel as hungry as often.

set backs/cravings:
see above. 

weight loss:
it's really hard to tell.  today i was up 5 lbs from what my scale told me last week, but i have been tracking my calories and there's no way i ate enough to gain 5 lbs.  my scale also told my dad he gained 13 lbs, so i don't know if it can even be trusted.  i can say that i noticed last monday when i was getting dressed for work that my pants felt looser!  i felt this a lot this week in putting on different pairs of pants.  maybe not looser, but definitely not as tight.

recommendations:
i really need to drink more water, but i just don't know how.  also, continuing to be more mindful of what i eat- saying no to a second portion, skipping a dessert- i think even in my failures this week i made some successes.  i also need to get back on track.  we just paid our rent last night, have no food in our house and  don't get paid again for 2 weeks.  we really need groceries- starving might be the plan for the next week & a half... 

i hope next week is better.  i'm pretty disappointed still. 

i'm linking up with Blair for McFatty Monday over @ Heir to Blair

detox- week one- am i doing this right?

thanks for the super-supportive comments on my previous post.  it means a lot!  very encouraging!

as previously mentioned, i started my no-sugar detox monday evening.  i had a couple of sugary things in my house that i wanted to rid myself of (including a meal with fruit in it), so i had that for lunch monday.  i have been going strong ever since... maybe.

i can't decide whether i'm doing this right or not.  am i supposed to be having zero sugar?  because i find that sugar is naturally occurring in things i thought were "safe" to eat.  ie: milk, almond butter, tomatoes (i guess a tomato is technically a fruit, which i'm not supposed to be eating), sunflower seeds.  i haven't had a single sugar-free day yet.  here's the weekly breakdown (remember- i ate "normally" (not really b\c i was eating stuff for the sake of getting it out of my house) on monday).

monday - 102 g (holy crap)
tuesday- 16 g
wednesday - 11 g
thursday - 19 g
friday - 7 g
saturday - 12 g
sunday - 18 g

i mean, i guess when you look at monday- i appear to be hitting it out of the park.  but i am wondering about the other aspects of detoxing- such as the fact that my fat & cholesterol numbers are through the roof!  is that right?  i mean, i guess it would be if i'm eating a lot of proteins.  it just sounds weird.  here's what this week has been like:

eating:

breakfast- plain greek yogurt w\ cinnamon and/or almond butter.  or an omelet or scrambled eggs.  milk to drink

lunch- salad- spinach topped with various veggies, a small amount of cheese, seeds and a protein- either chicken or an egg.

dinner- i've made salmon and 2 salads this week (one steak, one shrimp).  tuesday we go out to dinner and i also had a salad.

snacks- mixed nuts, hummus with veggies or terra chips, almond butter with terra chips or jicama, brie with veggies, string cheese

water:  i am weird.  i could go an entire day without drinking ANYTHING.  i don't know anyone else like this.  it's odd.  so to drink anything- esp water- it's like forcing it down my throat.  i'm trying.

exercising:

we worked out 6 days this week, which is our norm.  we take sunday's off b\c dave plays hockey (so he works out 7 days) and thursday i don't really go work out, i just go to work, which is 4+ hours of standing, walking and lifting.  i re-learned how to ride a bike.  they say you never forget, but "they" are liars.  i have scrapes on both legs and a nice bruise on my tail to prove that i forgot...

side effects:

i keep getting wicked headaches.  they flare up for about 10-15 minutes at a time and go away.  i'm guessing it's either from caffeine or sugar- or both.  oh, and despite all the protein i'm eating- i find myself hungry a lot.  i'm a BIG eater.  i always have been (i know where my poor child gets it from).  i can put food away- and then be hungry in an hour.  that's still happening.

set backs/cravings:

i am actually doing really well as far as dr. p goes- i haven't felt any real need for it.  i am having the desire to tear into a bunch of bananas or just eat some fruit.  i also really want a coconut frappuccino.  so i love chocolate- like- a lot.  i was so desperate for just a bite by saturday night.  dave & i went to the grocery store to pick up a movie and i bought  box of unsweetened baker's chocolate thinking that would do the trick... hello.. that stuff is SO BITTER.  gag.  still, no sugar.  today however, i did get a lindt 90% cocoa bar- 4 squares has about 3 g of sugar, so i had 1 square.  i felt that would work- and dark chocolate is so good for you anyway.  it was a perfect treat.  and now i might be a cheater.

weight loss:

i don't feel smaller and i don't think i look smaller.  my clothes don't feel looser either.  however, i stepped on the scale monday and i stepped on the scale sunday night and sunday night was reading 5 lbs less!  eek!

recommendations:

if you are looking to lose weight or just to track your calories, i can't recommend enough the myfitnesspal app.  the fabulocity of this thing is unmatched.  it has just about every food you can imagine (you can use a bar code scanner for the things it doesn't have) and it has foods from many major restaurants listed.  plus, you can put in all the ingredients from a recipe you're going to make with the servings and it will split up the nutritional value for you.  plus, you can track your workouts and water intake.  i love it!

i probably won't complete a full detox b\c my family is coming into town this week and we will probably hit up some fun chicago spots- but i will be watching what i eat very carefully and probably be eating 95% of what i eat according to my detox plan.  that won't be until this weekend though!

also, i have an exciting giveaway coming up this week!  stay tuned

i'm linking up with Blair for McFatty Monday over @ Heir to Blair

i resolve... april

not to make stupid resolutions this year that i will have forgotten about by... yesterday.

instead.  my "resolution" is to make a short list of attainable goals each month- and to share them with you.

i'm getting earlier with my posts... that's good.  let's review my goals for march.  i feel like i kicked some serious tail this month!

• go to bed before 2 AM ---maybe i did this 3 times...
• list clothes on smashion --- boo.  ya.  smashion is like ebay in that listing stuff takes for.  ev.  er.  it probably took me 4 hours or more to upload all of this stuff- and i don't plan on keeping it all up for months until it sales.  if it's not gone by a certain point- it's off to goodwill.  so, buy this stuff.   seriously- i want it out of my house.  shop
• seriously, clean your house, it's a disaster. --- we tried to take on a "project" per weekend on top of making extra efforts to clean.  our 4 projects:  1.  dig out backyard jungle weeds for future garden.  2.  fold and hang 6 weeks months of laundry that we i had lying around.  3.  clean out from under our bed (how did that stuff even get there?!).  4.  organize, try on and pull clothes & list them on smashion.
• finish something else on the 30/30 ---while i was unable to mark anything off the list, i did print more  pictures (#9) and started getting serious about date nights (#11).  ok, wait.  we did FINALLY pay off the hospital bills from having Ian (#14), but now we have hospital bills from the er visit.  i'm conflicted about whether or not this can be crossed off the list. 
• read 2 books --- yes!  (although i just finished the 2nd last night).  i finished butterfield 8 and another book having to do w\ my 30/30.  it's a secret.
• have 2 "date" nights with husband.  one where we stay at home and the other where we actually pretend like we have lives and we leave our house without our child (we will leave our child with someone, not alone if you were wondering).  --- we did have our at home date night.  we made a special dinner together and snuggled together for a movie.  we never got a chance to go out b\c dave's parents were on vacation during our free weekends.  we did have more than one at home date night. 
• see to it that the first day of spring arrives in the midwest.  i curse you snow, i curse you with 1000 curses. --- even i can't make the seasons change and that groundhog is a filthy liar.  it snowed at least twice this month.  40 degrees is not spring.
• win march madness (or my husband can win... what's yours is mine...) --- talk about the fail of the century.  i don't watch college bb, but i love march madness- this year's tournament was totally whack.  dave & i finished in a tie for 2nd to last place out of 24 brackets.  the pool was decided before we even got to the final four b\c everyone's teams were eliminated except for the winner who had 1 final four team.  sad.  i don't wanna talk about it.

and now for april!

• finish 2 more books
• finish 2 more 30/30 items.  
• don't spend any extra money on crap this month.  approved items are:  tv with tax money (planned ahead), lunch this weekend w\ friends we haven't seen since october.  easter basket goodies for ian.  out of the house date.  trip to milwaukee to see the braves (tickets are $0.75).  all of this total (not including the tv should cost less than $100).  
• 2 date nights.  1 at home.  1 out.
• lose 2 lbs.  i didn't bother with this in march, but i'm coming back to it.  it's been 8 weeks now- the weight has got to start coming off.  i'm busting my butt.  
• figure out how to spend/save the remaining tax money.  we could pay off ian's hospital bills in full, but would like to save some money as well.
• cash in my bonds.  they're earning about $0.25 a year.  ridiculous.

we'll check back to see how i did in a few weeks!!

i resolve... february

not to make stupid resolutions this year that i will have forgotten about by... yesterday.

instead.  my "resolution" is to make a short list of attainable goals each month- and to share them with you.

once again, we're almost halfway through the month, but i've had my list going.  first, let's revisit january's goals:

• sign up for mentor program for my biggest 30 before thirty goal - done!!
• start working out.  for reals.  find a gym- husband's company will reimburse- so do it!  - done- not until february, but done nonetheless!
• use lotion on my hands EVERY night (this is silly, but i hate that the air is so dry my skin splits) - done!
• lose 5 pounds.  starting weight: 1X6 - not done, but a pair of pants i couldn't wear a few weeks ago, i can wear now, so i've lost something!!
• finish the book listed on my blog.  that i haven't even started....  - not done.  ugh.  not a good month for reading...
• complete 2 items on my 30 before thirty list (some of these goals should help) done!!  #3 (start a work out plan and start working out), and #28- (file our financial documents and shred the junk)
• type up the "chore list"  - done!  now, to start doing the chores... ai yi yi
• start/finish the "remodeling" on one of the bathrooms - done!  not only did we do our bathroom, we finished ian's as well.  pictures to come!

and now, my goals for february:

• lose 5 lbs.  
• finish reading that darn book already
• complete 2 more items on my 30 before thirty list
• go to bed before 2 AM (to most of you, this is probably crazy, but i have a lot of trouble winding down- this is a HUGE deal for me)
• start listing clothes on smashion
• start implementing the cleaning plan

i'll check back in with you on these in 2 weeks!!

i resolve... january

not to make stupid resolutions this year that i will have forgotten about by... yesterday.

instead.  my "resolution" is to make a short list of attainable goals each month- and to share them with you.

we're almost halfway through january, but i made my list last week, and i've already started working on it!  wahoo!

january goals:

• sign up for mentor program for my biggest 30 before thirty goal
• start working out.  for reals.  find a gym- husband's company will reimburse- so do it!
• use lotion on my hands EVERY night (this is silly, but i hate that the air is so dry my skin splits)
• lose 5 pounds.  starting weight: 1X6
• finish the book listed on my blog.  that i haven't even started....
• complete 2 items on my 30 before thirty list (some of these goals should help)
• type up the "chore list"
• start/finish the "remodeling" on one of the bathrooms

we're starting slow.  here we go........

alright, you win

that's it, i give up.

it's been at least a year now.

by this time last year i had gained almost all my pregnancy weight.

currently i have lost almost all my pregnancy weight.

so i'm smaller than i was this time last year....yet i still can't get my engagement or wedding rings on my finger. 

so i'm biting the bullet and having the things re-sized.  my fingers are tired of being naked, and i keep thinking everyone thinks i'm teen mom... 

so goodbye size 4.5 rings.  we'll see what new size awaits

call me the shredder

well, not quite, but that's the husband's new nickname for me. yesterday i started jillian michael's 30 day shred.  a girl from my new mom's group mentioned that she had bought the dvd, and was going to start it- so i figured i'd start it too (i had the dvd pre-baby) that way we could keep each other accountable.  we started on monday, so it's day 3.  i really hope i keep it up until day 30.  i need this.  

 

i need this because my self-esteem has taken quite a few hits lately...

#1 - i decide to use the wii fit for the first time since I was pregnant- over a year ago.  i was still in the early stages of my pregnancy then, so i had only gained a few pounds- but wasn't to point that i'm back at now.  so i step on the board and the wii tells me i gained 8.8 lbs, makes my mii fat and tells me that i failed at my weight loss goal (the one i set before i knew i was pregnant).  if only the wii knew i had gained 45 total lbs and lost all but 10...

#2 - i downloaded a new app on my phone that tracks your weight.  you put in a goal, and then you put in your current weight with your height.  i put in all this information, press enter, and the app replies, "you are   fat."  nice.  i guess it could be worse- just playing around, i put my weight down as 200 lbs and it said, "you will die."


so i need to lose 10 lbs to get back to pre-baby weight, but everything i read says that i was still 20 lbs overweight then (wtf?!)  regardless, i'm about to get serious!

so i figure, what better way to motivate than to humiliate...

so, here i am on day 2 of the 30 day shred

from the front.

and from the side - still looking preggers.  boo.

update in 27 days...

weight update

last monday i had my annual appointment, and that comes with a chance to hit the scales.  i was fitting into my size 6 jeans, so i had to be down several pounds. . .

145.

only 4 pounds?!  are you kidding me?!?

so i've been moping about this for the last week when all of the sudden it hit me.  you're not looking at this the right way. 

so let's look at it the right way.

i've lost 30 of the 45 lbs i gained while pregnant with ian.  that's 7.5 lbs a month!  and i had lost 4 lbs in 2 months- so that's roughly half a pound a month (and i really haven't worked out much).  so let's say i continue to not work out and lose almost half a pound per month.  in the next 5 months i will lose 10 more lbs! 

let's look at it even better-  say i lose 4 lbs a month.  in 5 months* i will have lost another 20 lbs!  this will either be my goal weight, or i will want to lose another 5-10 lbs (sorry mel, you will never weigh 99 lbs again).  i'll definitely be working out more now that it's warmer- ian and i will be out walking more, there will be summertime activities, and he will be crawling soon- so i'm sure i'll  never stop moving!  i'm making healthier meal choices, making more food at home, and i'm working out more.  btw, i tried out my new jogging stroller and i'm just lucky no one around here knows me because if anyone saw me jogging they'd be embarrassed to know me.  it was that bad. 

i'm doing it.  the girl who doesn't know how to diet, exercise and not eat whatever she wants is making progress!!

i can't wait to see where this journey continues to take me! 

*(i'm not crazy- i keep using 5 months as my goal because the old saying goes, "9 months on, 9 months off).

McFatty Monday 2

it's week 2 of getting serious about losing baby weight... and i did just the opposite.  

for starters, the weather has been horrible this week.  ian and i were only able to get out and walk once.  this week doesn't seem like it's going to be any better.  it's low 60's right now.  i guess that shouldn't be an excuse, i should probably just layer up and get out, but i get more worried about him getting cold.  

we went on a road trip this weekend, and for us, any road trip means terrible food.  we both ate breakfast at home before we left, but once we got out on the road, there weren't many options.  every exit seems to be a mcdonald's.  not the best choice for weight loss.  we did avoid mcdonald's, but we didn't avoid taco bell and fazoli's (10 hour trip meant 2 stops- lunch and dinner).  plus, we didn't buy a single snack at a gas station stop- go us!  although the ravioli at fazoli's has less than 500 calories, so i guess i can get on board with that.  maybe.  the positive to this is that we did some walking once we got to our destination!  plus, i carried ian in the bjorn the entire time, it's practically like walking with weights...  even better, i didn't eat anything once we got back home- go me!

i can't figure out if i'm just trying to make myself feel better- or if this is all really good stuff...

so i won't be weighed again for another 2 weeks, so i don't have any weight progress to share.  sometimes i feel like i look smaller, but i don't know that i'm any closer to fitting into my old pants, or anything for that matter.


let me go a different direction though.  let's talk about stretch marks.  they are a pregnant and post-pregnant gal's worst enemy.  i tried my best to be diligent about rubbing cocoa butter on my belly and everywhere else throughout my entire pregnancy.  i succeeded with the belly part.  i remember my ob putting the gel on my belly at one of my last appointments so we could listen with the doppler... she said, 

"oh, wow, you've made it this far, and you don't have any stretch marks"


and i replied, "not really, you just can't see the places where i have my stretch marks."


so, here i am nearly 14 weeks post partum, and with stretch marks abound.  they cover my thighs, my entire thigh is a stretch mark.  i do have a few on my right side, and then on each of my calves.  so some people might say i'm lucky to have them in those places and not my belly.  i strongly disagree- i mean, i don't show my belly everyday when i go out in public- but i do wear skirts and dresses, and dare i say, shorts in the summer- people are going to see my legs.  i mean, how am i going to wear a swimsuit again?!?!


so a few weeks ago, i picked up some Bio Oil after seeing it in a magazine.  it's a tiny bottle of peach-colored oil that has a bazillion uses, but i am going to use it for stretch marks.  basically, i rub it into my stretch marks 2 times a day for 3 months, and they should be visibly reduced.  i'm not doing it twice a day every day, but i'm doing it as often as i feel i have time- and you know what, i think i already see a difference.  i thought about doing before and after photos, but i don't know if i'm brave enough to photograph my inner thigh...  so, there's nothing i can say for bio oil yet, but i will report back on it when ian is about 6 months old!


here's to a better week of eating right and exercising.  we're going out of town again this weekend, but i'm going to try to be better!!

also, i'm not a paid spokesperson for bio oil! 

McFatty Monday 1

i have decided to join Heir to Blair in her mcfatty monday campaign. this is perfect for me considering i'm already a "mcf" myself! so the point of mcfatty monday is to talk about my weight loss goals for losing my baby weight, etc.

here's me the day before giving birth:


this is what craving candy, pizza and pasta will do to you when you're 5'1". in the end i had gained 45 lbs, and i had already thought myself to be overweight for my small frame before giving birth. of course, now anytime i see a picture of me from before giving birth, i can't help but think i really was small...

when i went back for my 6 week post-partum check up, i had lost 26 lbs. when we were at my parents house, the scale said i had lost another 3 lbs. our scale at the house is broken, so i will not be weighing myself again until my yearly ob appointment, which is another 3 weeks away. i like not having a scale because i don't constantly obsess over what i weigh, but at the same time, i can't keep track of my weight and know what i'm doing. i think i prefer not obsessing.

so i'm 29 lbs down. 16 lbs to go to my pre-baby weight, and 26 lbs to my goal weight. if i want to really stretch it, 36 lbs. that's probably a little much, so i'm going to stick with 26 lbs.

so, i'm trying to eat better, but it's just so hard. i have quite a sweet tooth. i love treats!! it's so hard to not want a treat every night!! we do eat out a lot less now that i've given birth because i'm not always craving pizza, and because i didn't cook much when i was pregnant. now i have my love for cooking back, and i'm cooking at least 2-3 meals a week (most meals give us at least 1 night of leftovers). so i know i'm eating better, and i'm trying to avoid that need for sweets by filling it with fruit, or yogurt instead.

i'm also lazy (weight loss is going to be a battle, i feel it). when i took ballet, i stayed really thin, and when i was cheering i was thin, but the minute i stopped those, i didn't really work out anymore. i hate running, and i can't keep up with a regimen for more than a few weeks it seems. i've tried pilates, jillian michael's 30 minute shred- nothing keeps my interest. i'm hoping to start cycling soon, and we're going for walks with ian when it's warm outside (spring is so fickle, we've only been able to have him out a handful of times).

so i don't have a definite plan, but now i've called myself out in front of the blogging world. i will work out, i will lose the baby weight, and i will be a hot mom!

more next monday!